To see the lyrics, click on the name of the version you are interested in (on the left).

It's never been performed live.

The text is said by Joby Talbot, in a BBC4 manner.

The gallop and barks at the end actually go with 'The Dogs And The Horses'.

Neil said about this song: "From the ridiculous to the sublime. This is probably the purest expression of Divine Comedy schizophrenia to date, and I didn't have to say a word on it."

I think I'll take the opportunity of this quotation to develop on the "Divine Comedy schizophrenia". The word schizophrenia, how big it might sound, really is the right word. Firstly, because of the oxymoronic clash between Divine (implying spirituality or religion, but also wit) and Comedy (as opposed to tragedy and meaning not serious, light, frivolous). While Divine means godly, Comic (Comedy) means human, and of course God and Man can't be the same thing for, even though God made Man at his image, Man isn't perfection. But the word schizophrenia was also aptly used because you have to be more or less schizophrenic to be a singer. Neil Hannon in private life is Neil Hannon (and we don't know him and never will); and Neil Hannon in public life calls himself The Divine Comedy. Why? Maybe because he's too shy and needs a name to hide behind. After all, he once said that Neil Hannon was a silly name for a pop star. So, yes, Neil has a split personality, but he doesn't need to consult for that.