a short site about The Divine Comedy

French version

Births, Deaths And Marriages

Original version (4:11)

Listen very carefully,
I’ll say this only once.
I haven’t had a moments peace
In thirty seven months.
Commitments squeezed like tinned sardines
Into each precious hour.
But I’ll survive ‘cause where there’s life
There’s generally a bar.
Line ‘em up:

Births and deaths and marriages,
Births and deaths and marriages,
Cabbages and kings.
Cabbages and kings.
Slugs and snails and spam e-mails,
Slugs and snails and e-mails,
And other precious things.
Other precious things.
Cherubim and seraphim,
Cherubim and seraphim,
Go green with envy for
Go green with envy for
All the births and deaths and marriages
All the births and deaths and marriages
Mortality affords.
Mortality affords.

Today a man got on my tram
And wiped his sweaty neck.
And suddenly I saw how he
Must look whilst having sex!
I felt like Henry the Sixth felt
When he sang hysterically,
Watching the slaughter his supporters
Thought he ought to see.

Births and deaths and marriages,
Births and deaths and marriages,
Divorces, christenings.
Divorces, christenings.
Isn’t life for all its strife
Isn’t life for all its strife
A rather a splendid thing?
A rather a splendid thing?
Cherubim and seraphim,
Cherubim and seraphim
Continually do cry:
Continually do cry:
“Life’s wasted on these mortal ones,
“Life’s wasted on these mortal ones,
So can we have a try?”
Can we have a try?”
Yeah!

Here’s a story ‘bout a boy,
Ignored by all the class.
He broke his leg so he could get them
All to sign his cast.
But instead of writing “Get Well Soon”
They wrote “You Suck”.
A dreadful story, I’m terribly sorry,
At least I made it up!
At least I made it up!

Births and deaths and marriages,
Births and Deaths and Marriages,
Cabbages and kings.
Cabbages and kings.
Topped and tailed with screams and wails
Topped and tailed, and screams and wails
Cheated in between.
Cheated in between.
What the hell? I’m fit and well,
What the hell? I’m fit and well,
I’m ready and I’m willin’.
I’m able and I’m willin’.
I’m not from Venus or from Mars –
I’m not from Venus or from Mars –
I’m from Enniskillen! I’m from Enniskillen!

So why watch ‘the nation’s hundred greatest So why watch ‘the nation’s hundred greatest
Things in history’ Things in history’
When the top spot goes, by law, When the top spot goes, by law,
To Bohemian Rhapsody? To Bohemian Rhapsody?
You will never see a poor bookie, You will never see a poor bookie,
The dealer always wins. The dealer always wins.
And there ain’t no clocks round the Vegas slots And there ain’t no clocks round the Vegas slots
Keep texting your votes in. Keep texting your votes in.
Woo!

Goodnight, and may your God go with you.