Neil: Cheers! And you have no idea how much effort it takes to bring them all off and put them all back on again. Here’s an oldie, but a goodie. You’re ready?

“Oh don’t be unkind.”
Or something like that anyway!
[...]

She said:
“There’s something in the woodshed
And I can hear it breathing.
It’s such an eerie feeling,
Darling.”
He said:
“There’s nothing in the woodshed.
It’s your imagination.
End of the conversation,
Darling.”

Something in his heart
Something in his heart
Told him to come clean
Told him to come clean
Tell her he was not
He was not who he claimed to be. Who he claimed to be
Something in his genes
Something in his genes
Told him to pretend
Told him to pretend
Something in his genes
It was something for the weekend. Something for the weekend

Oh, come on!
You know you want to.

But she said:
“There’s something in the woodshed.
I know because I saw it.
I can’t simply ignore it,
Darling.”
But he said:
“Now baby don’t be stupid.
Get this into your sweet head:
There ain’t nothing in the woodshed
Except maybe some wood.”

Something in his heart
Something in his heart
Told him to come clean
Told him to come clean
Tell her he was not
He was not who he claimed to be. Who he claimed to be
Something in his genes
Something in his genes
Told him to pretend
Told him to pretend
Something in his genes
It was something for the weekend. Something for the weekend
Yeah.

“I’ll go all the way with you, “I’ll go all the way with you,
If you’ll only do the same for me - if you’ll only do the same for me -
Go and see. Go and see.
If it’s nothing like you say, If it’s nothing like you say,
Then you can have your wicked way Then you can have your wicked way
With me.” With me.”

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Weekend, Weekend,
It’s something for the It’s something for the
Weekend, Weekend,
It’s something for the It’s something for the
Weekend, Weekend,
It’s something for the It’s something for the
Weekend, Weekend,
It’s something It’s something for the
Something for the weekend, Weekend,
Something for the weekend, It’s something for the
Something for the weekend, Weekend,
Something for the weekend, It’s something for the
Something for the weekend, Weekend,
Something for the weekend, It’s something for the
Something for the weekend, Weekend,
Something for the weekend. It’s something for the

He went down to the woodshed.
They came down hard on his head, yeah.
Gagged and bound and left for dead,
When he woke she was gone with his car and all of his money.