Michael Caine: Well, are you settled in. Right, we can begin. My name is...
Millicent Martin: Alfie!

Once,
There was a time
When my mind lay on higher things;
And once,
There was a time,
I could find pretty words to sing.
But now,
But now I find
It saves time to say what you mean.
I know it seems so unrefined
But it’s time to let off some steam.

Oh come on!
Everybody knows that No means Yes, Everybody, No means Yes
Just like glasses come free on the N.H.S. Glasses on the N.H.S.
But the more I look through them, the more I see More I look, the more I see
I’m becoming more like Alfie. Becoming more like Alfie

Once,
There was a time
When a kind word was enough;
And once,
There was a time
I could blindfold myself with love.
But not now,
Now I’m resigned
To the kind of life I had reserved
For the other guys less smart than I,
Oh y’know, the kind who will always end up with the girls.

And besides,
Everybody knows that No means Yes, Everybody, No means Yes
Just like glasses come free on the N.H.S. Glasses on the N.H.S.
But the more I look through them, the more I see More I look, the more I see
I’m becoming more like Alfie. Becoming more like Alfie
Oh come on!

I’m becoming more like Alfie. I’m becoming more like Alfie.

Neil: Thanks a lot!