Doctor: Er, you don’t understand, what exactly, what, what his work problems are, or, why he’s working so hard.
Woman: (sobbing) Yeah. Well you [...] know, it’s his job really.
Doctor: Hum, hum. And he has always been happy with it, in the past?
Woman: Yeah, yeah.
Doctor: Save this time he’s been on... quite so much pressure.
Woman: Well...
Doctor: Hum, hum. And, and how long has he been a bus driver ?
Woman: ...He’s not a bus driver.

Take the National Express
When your life’s in a mess
It’ll make you smile.
All human life is here
From the feeble old dear
To the screaming child,
From the student who knows
That to have one of those
Would be suicide
To the family man
Manhandling the pram
With paternal pride.

And everybody sings bababababababada
Yeah! bababababababada
Ah ha! bababababababada
Alright! bababababababada
We’re go- bababababababada
Ing where bababababababada
The air bababababababada
Is free. bababababababada
Yeah.

On the National Express
There’s a jolly hostess
Selling crisps and tea.
She’ll provide you with drinks
And theatrical winks
For a sky-high fee.
Mini-skirts were in style
When she danced down the aisle
Back in ‘63,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it’s hard to get by
When your arse is the size
Of a small country.

And everybody sings bababababababada
Yeah! bababababababada
Ah ha! bababababababada
Alright! bababababababada
We’re go- bababababababada
Ing where bababababababada
The air bababababababada
Is free. bababababababada

Tomorrow
Tomorrow belongs to me!
It belongs to me.

When you’re sad and feeling blue
With nothing better to do
Don’t just sit there feeling stressed,
Take a trip on
The National Express.
On the National Express.
Let’s go!

National Express,
National Express,
National Express,
National Express,
National Express,
National Express,
National Express,
National Express,
National Express,
National Express,
National Express,
National Express,
National Express,
National Express,
National Express.