Take the National Express
When your life’s in a mess
It’ll make you smile.
All human life is here
From the feeble old dear
To the screaming child,
From the student who knows
That to have one of those
Would be suicide
To the family man
Manhandling the pram
With paternal pride.

And everybody sings bababababababada
Yeah! bababababababada
Ah ha! bababababababada
Alright! bababababababada
We’re go- bababababababada
Ing where bababababababada
The air bababababababada
Is free. bababababababada
Neil: Very good.

On the National Express
There’s a jolly hostess
Selling crisps and tea.
She’ll provide you with drinks
And theatrical winks
For a sky-high fee.
Mini-skirts were in style
When she danced down the aisle
Back in ’63,
But it’s hard to get by
When your **** is the size
Of a small country.

And everybody sings bababababababada
Yeah! bababababababada
Ah ha! bababababababada
Alright! bababababababada
We’re go- bababababababada
Ing where bababababababada
The air bababababababada
Is free. bababababababada

Tomorrow
Tomorrow belongs to me!
It belongs to me.

When you’re sad and feeling blue
With nothing better to do
Don’t just sit there feeling stressed,
Take a little trip on
The National Express. The National Express
On the National Express.

National Express,
National Express,
National Express,
National Express,
Neil: Ok.
National Express,
National Express,
Neil: I’ve got a thing I do now.
National Express,
Neil: you won’t like it.
National Express,
National Express,
National Express,
Neil: I’m coming.
National Express,
National Express,
Neil: Hello.
National Express,
Neil: I’m coming down now.
National Express,
National Express,
Neil: Hello. You look nervous.
National Express.
Neil: Ok, everybody sing
National Express.
Man in the audience: National Express.
Woman in the audience: National Express.
Neil: No, sing it.
Woman: National Express.
Neil: Very good. We’ll have another one.
Woman: National Express.
Neil: Mmmm.
Man in the audience: National Express.
Neil: That’s the best yet.
Man in the audience: National Express.
Neil: You, lady.
Woman in the audience: National Express.
Neil: Again.
Woman: National Express.
Neil: That’s not good enough. Ok. One more for me, ok? Again.
Woman: National Express.
Neil: That’s the one, yes! Shall we have one from you?
Man in the audience: National Express.
Neil: I love a bit of tunefulness every one and again. Ok.
Man in the audience: National Express.
Neil: And again.
Man: National Express.
Neil: That’s lovely.
Man: National Express.
Neil: Eight out of ten.
Man: I hate your guts.
Neil: It is seven now.
Man: Yes.
Neil: Ok. Thank you very much. I think I’ll go back up there now. You can stop if you like.

National Express,
National Express.