Bob Kingdom (as Elsa Maxwell): After poor little rich girl, dedicated to my friend Barbara Hutton, married five times, just once to Carry Grant, practice would never make perfect, here comes rich little poor girl, […], your international part hostess adding glamour to glamour, here to introduce a song which Noel dedicated to me, inspired by my memorable costume party at Cap Ferrat, in the South of France, in 1938, and sung here and now by a biggest welcome for The Divine Comedy.

I must say it’s the most extraordinary experience
Its like reliving everything again, you know
And I’m not sure it’s even legal.
You know quite for no reason
I’m here for the season
And high as a kite
Living in error
With Maud at Cap Ferrat,
Which couldn’t be right.
Everyone’s here and frightfully gay.
Nobody cares what people say
Though the Riviera seems really much queerer
Than Rome at its height.
On Wednesday night
I went to a marvellous party
With Nunu and Nana and Nell.
It was in the fresh air
And we went as we were
And we stayed as we were,
Which was hell.
Poor Grace started singing at midnight
And she didn’t stop singing till four
We knew the excitement was bound to begin
When Laura got blind on Dubonet and gin
And scratched the veneer with a Cartier pin
I couldn’t have liked it more!

I’ve been to a marvellous party.
We played a wonderful game.
Maureen disappeared
And came back in a beard
And we all had to guess at her name.
Cecil arrived wearing armour,
Some shells and a black feather boa.
Poor Millicent wore a surrealist comb
Made of bits of mosaic from St Peter’s in Rome
But the weight was so great that she had to go home
Well I couldn’t have liked it more!

I’ve been to a marvellous party.
The spell was really intense.
We all had to do
What the people we knew
Might be doing 100 years hence.
We talked about growing old gracefully
And Elsie, who’s 74,
Said: “A) it’s a question of being sincere
And B) if you’re supple you’ve got nothing to fear.”
Then she swung upside down from a chandelier
And I coudn’t have liked it more!

It was staggering, honestly,
And there’s lots of lovely people there, honestly.
You know people’s behaviour
Away from Belgravia
Would make you aghast:
So much variety
Watching society
Scampering past.
You know if you had any mind at all,
Gibbon’s divine Decline and Fall,
Well it sounds pretty flimsy
No more than a whimsy.
By way of contrast
On Wednesday last,

I went to a marvellous party.
We didn’t sit down till ten.
Y’know young Bobby Carr
Did a stunt at the bar
With a lot of extraordinary men
And then Frida arrived with a turtle
Which shattered us all to the core
And then the Duchess passed out at a quarter to three
And suddenly Cyril cried “fiddle-de-de”
And he ripped off his trousers and jumped in the sea
And I couldn’t have liked it more!

I’ve been to a marvellous party
Elise made an entrance with May.
I’ve been to a marvellous party
You’d never have guessed
From her fisherman’s vest
That her bust had been whittled away.
Hey hey hey!
Poor Lulu got fried on Chianti
And talked about esprit de corps.
Esprit de corps.
Louise made a couple of passes at Gus
And Freddy, who hates any kind of fuss,
Did half the Big Apple and twisted his truss. Did half the Big Apple and twisted his truss.
Ha, ha ha ha, ha ha ha! I couldn’t have liked it more!